This is what I see on the street, now that the locals have returned:

1. Red pants. For men, women, and children. Not always blue-jean material, but always blue-jean cut. Paired with anything from a button-down shirt and blazer to a t-shirt. (Confirmation, perhaps of what Rosecrans Baldwin says in Paris I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down: that in Paris Frenchmen dress the way gay men do in America.)

2. Scarves. The ends thrown over your shoulders like windswept hair, wrapped around your neck like a muffler, or hanging loose. Almost a requirement for women, but men and some children wear them, too. A $10 blue cotton foulard is the one item I’ve bought so far, and it’s worked so well to disguise me as a native that I’ve had people ask me for directions in French. It’s also one-size-fits-all, which will come in handy, given my new Camembert-with-every-meal habit.

3. Skinny jeans. For men, women, and children. In all colors, many of them bright.

4. Pointy leather shoes for men. Converse sneakers in all colors for boys and girls. (But never clunky running shoes. Only “les baskets.”) Ballet flats with no socks for girls and women. Short, sleek boots if it’s too cold to go sockless. Heels, high and low, even with (or especially with) jeans, for women and older girls.

5. Button-up dress shirts and jackets without a tie for men.

6. Flowered underwear. Even for men (including in the e-mail I just received from my supermarket). In Charlottesville, my supermarket didn’t send me e-mails with lingerie promotions, but in Paris, underwear is everywhere.

7. Speedos and other racing swimsuits. Men and boys are not allowed in pools with baggy suits.

8. Tailored everything. All the peasant skirts and flouncy dresses my nine-year-old daughter packed were charming in Charlottesville but seem rather frumpy here. So she bought three pairs of skinny jeans, her first ever.

9. Tailored shorts with stockings. For twenty-somethings.

10. For older-than-twenty-somethings (like me): Dark skinny jeans; a short, boxy, tailored suit-type jacket; and impeccable shoes. You can substitute a jean jacket, if you have a beautiful scarf. Studied casual is the look. The desired effect is elegant but not too formal or fussy.

11. Even elderly women wear jeans, though not skinny jeans. They may wear loafers instead of ballet flats or heels.

Maybe I’ll buy something today. Or maybe I’ll wait, so I can get even-more-skinny jeans. Because, paradoxically, I’m losing weight, even though for a month I didn’t go to the gym and ate butter and cheese with every meal.

It’s the French paradox, right? Is it something in the air? The red wine? The walking? The frisson of sex everywhere you look? I say it’s all the lingerie ads. You can fill in the rest.